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Part 10: The Final Word on controlling your arousal

Sex isn’t just a physical thing; your perception also plays an important role. Your emotional makeup and feelings can have a bearing on ‘when’ you ejaculate. Here are three ways in which your mental faculties…

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NLP to beat Premature ejaculation


I’ll show you some effective exercises that will prove to be a great deal of help in conquering premature ejaculation and achieving longer lasting sex. These exercises are based on NLP – Neuro Linguistic Programming.

As it has been popularly utilized for other areas in life, you might already be somewhat familiar with this innovative technique. For those of you who are not familiar with NLP – NLP offers you an effective way to turn inhibiting thoughts into useful ones. In therapy, various NLP techniques are being used to successfully treat phobias, depression, mental and physical trauma and for eliminating bad habits such as smoking. It can even be successfully used to control and shape your decision-making and thoughts, to improve your life perspective.

NLP is a tool that helps you can hack your brain with new behavioral patterns, leading to better outcomes in different areas of your life. Using specifically designed NLP exercises, you will learn to shed your fears and negative, patterned sexual behavior and regain confidence in bed.

What ii does is actually a rewiring of the subconscious mind in order to achieve longer lasting sex.

NLP was established by Dr. Richard Bandler in the 1970s and is supported by studies from Yale:

Do you want to see a quick, practical demonstration? Try this:

1. Go to the middle of the room

2. Stretch your arms out straight in front of you

3. Turn your torso to the right as far as you can

4. Memorize that maximum point that you’ve reached

Now, retract your arms and go back to the starting position. Close your eyes and use your imagination to visualize doing the exact same exercise. Consider just one difference: This time, you are a rubber person. Imagine how effortlessly you could turn your torso in a complete circle. Turn back and then turn around in a circle again, this time faster. Repeat this twice.

Open your eyes and try the same turn again. In 95% of all cases, people will be able to turn 40% farther than before! That’s the amazing power of your mind over your body – your brain will always try to realize everything that you can imagine.

Take the edge off negative memories

Do you have especially bad or sad, negative memories of situations during or after sex? This might be something extremely traumatic, like being laughed at by your partner, or maybe getting “only” a condescending look from her. Everybody has their own demons and they’re just as bad. If you believe your memories cause you to have sexual anxiety, try these next exercises. They will help you to dissociate yourself from the traumatic experiences of your past and release them. Even if you aren’t troubled by irrational thoughts or traumatic memories, you can still benefit from these exercises – you never know what your subconscious mind is hiding.

Now, it’s important that you do these exercises in private, without being interrupted or disturbed. This will help you focus and get the best out of them.

1. Close your eyes and picture yourself sitting in an empty movie theater. The lights are dimmed and the screen is black.

2. On the screen, visualize whatever memory you have chosen to overcome. Turn the traumatic scene into a full film clip that you can play from beginning to end.

3. For the opening of your clip, choose a point in time when you still felt safe and everything was still whole. The same goes for the end scene – picture an ending that shows how the painful situation is over.

4. Repeat the scene, but this time in black/white and twice as fast. Pay attention to the voices of the people in your clip and how they change while you fast-forward.

5. Now, have some funny background music accompany the film, e.g. circus theme music, or perhaps “I like big butts.” Make the entire situation as comical as possible.

6. Give the person who caused the bad memory an ugly, green nose and a pair of big ears. Play with his/her size; let him/her shrink while making yourself appear much bigger & stronger.

7. If the person said something insulting, make his/her character voice sound funny, like the voice of Mickey Mouse or Goofy.

8. Replay the movie several times with those changes included—forwards and backwards.

9. When the scene stops being a threat to you, float out of your seat and into the movie – experience seeing the situation from the first person with all the added changes. Then float back out of the screen back onto your seat and open your eyes.

Our memories are like grooves on a record album. Once the grooves for the record needle are pressed, we will replay the same old “record” over and over again. This exercise helps us jump over those grooves and interrupt those bad memories.

Try it. Try to think about those bad memories; it’s pretty hard, isn’t it? Most people just can’t recall their bad memories anymore after the exercise, or they simply can’t seem to take them seriously anymore. If you don’t feel a change, try the exercise again and play some more with the extra effects to see what works best for you.

You can repeat this exercise for all the other negative experiences.

Quick tips to last longer in bed


1. Adjust Your Mind Set: 90% of “Sex” Actually Happens In Our Brains

This is especially true for women. That means that even if you are able to penetrate her for hours there’s absolutely no guarantee that she’ll experience an orgasm or for that matter, like it. Women need to feel positive emotions during intercourse. To fully enjoy sexual intercourse, women need to like you, they have to get into the right mood and they should also be stimulated in various ways by their partner – vaginal stimulation is just a piece of the puzzle.

The average time it takes a woman to reach orgasm is 10-15 minutes. However, you can drastically improve this timeframe if you master the right techniques.

2. Rethink Porn Consumption, It May Cause Dopamine Resistance

According to recent studies, porn consumption impacts dopamine production; that is the hormone responsible for controlling your reflex of ejaculation. Excessively watching X rated movies harms you in 2 ways:

1) You teach yourself to come too quickly. Internet porn is now everywhere and makes it easy to watch a variety of sexual acts and all sorts of fetishes. Therefore, you get the tendency of getting exactly what you want and end up masturbating for a brief moment to quickly achieve orgasm—almost like an addict seeking their next dopamine rush. Lots of men develop this habit at a very early age, which makes it a hard to overcome habit unless the proper techniques aren’t utilized.

2) You risk building up the so-called dopamine resistance. Since it only takes just a small amount of time to consume porn and none of your other senses are involved (such as touching your partner, smells, etc.), the dopamine released during masturbation has a much different effect on your receptors.

Researchers tried to compare the brains of porn-watchers and non-porn-watchers. After testing the porn-watchers group they had to stop the experiment – they couldn’t get a big enough sample to test the second group!

3. Overcome Performance Anxiety, It’s A Big Endurance Killer

I think we all know that feeling: You’re about to have sex with your girl and suddenly these thoughts invade your mind: “This can’t happen again, I’m already way too horny and we haven’t even started yet. What if I come too quickly? She’ll definitely think I’m a loser if I can’t satisfy her needs”. If that’s the case, don’t worry; you’re not the only one.

The bad part is that these thoughts and feelings aren’t just hindering, they’re often responsible for inducing premature ejaculation. So you could say that your mind is the one causing a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Here’s an example: Don’t think about a pink baby elephant. Don’t even try to picture his big pink head in your mind.

Sure enough, you’ve just thought about a pink baby elephant. That happens because our subconscious mind can’t interpret negations – they only function with affirmations. When you think, “I can’t come too early again, don’t let this happen, etc.,” all your subconscious hears is “Come too early again. This will happen”. The good news is that with a bit of mental exercise and a few techniques you can quickly fix this problem. You’ll notice you automatically stop before the fear even begins to show its nasty head.

4. Recalibrate Your Subconscious Mind to Withstand Intense Arousal

Remember how we agreed that most sex takes place in your mind? Well, that’s why it’s a smart choice to work on your inner mental game in order to conquer premature ejaculation. The best tool to use for this is called “Neuro Linguistic Programming”, which was developed in the early 70’s and is backed up by several Yale studies. Numerous and various NLP techniques are successfully used today in treating phobias or depression, coping with trauma and eliminating bad habits such as smoking or substance abuse.

You can basically hack your brain to adopt new behavioral patterns. Isn’t that great? Using specifically designed NLP exercises, you can quickly learn to shed your fears, eliminate patterned sexual behavior, gain confidence in bed and rewire your subconscious for better, longer lasting sex.

5. Strengthen Your “Sex-Muscles” With Kegel Exercises

You’ve probably already heard of the Kegel exercises. They were designed to train your pelvic floor muscles, often referred to as the sex muscles. By strengthening these muscles you can achieve numerous benefits like greater control over ejaculation and enhanced sexual function. In order to correctly apply the Kegel technique, you must go through a 2-step process:

1) Chances are you’ve never really used those muscles. That’s why you have to start out by training your pelvic muscles and building them up slowly. This will allow you to use them effectively during sex, later on.

2) Once you’ve built up those muscles, it’s time to put them to work in a productive way. Contrary to most advice on the Internet, simply having strong pelvic muscles won’t do anything special for you. You have to know when to flex and when to relax them; this will make a huge difference during sexual intercourse, especially when you combine it with efficient breathing patterns. We’ll see about these techniques in great detail further on. Stay tuned!

Your dopamine response, porn addiction and how it’s connected to sex stamina


Summary of why porn is bad if you want to last longer in bed?

1). It messes up your dopamine causing libido issues and conditioning the mind to expect “unrealistic thrills” of sex which aren’t there in actual sex life. The dopamine-prolactin balance gets off which manifests itself in several sex problems like sexual stamina problems.

2). It conditions the body for quick ejaculation. It becomes a habit and the “human mind” tries to quickly get the act done for dopamine release just like a drug addict wants to quickly put the drug into his body to seek pleasure quickly. 

3). Men watching porn bring ridiculously high unnecessary burden and/or insecurity to perform in bed like the actors do in a porn scene.

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