How to Last Longer in Bed

Why your Fitness, endurance and sex stamina are connected?

elijah Hi, I am Elijah, a fitness trainer, endurance athlete, runner, cyclist, and an addict to everything that requires longer stamina and energy.

I’ve trained with some of the best athletes and endurance trainers and continuously seek out ways and techniques to improve stamina.

Interestingly, during my quest of more stamina, I observed some of the techniques that I applied for my sports performance stamina also helped with my stamina in bedroom.

This made me curious and I longed for more of these techniques. This blog of mine gives out tips, based on my learning and experience on how you can improve your overall stamina and fitness to last longer in bed. So, let’s begin.

Studies have shown that approximately 50% of men ejaculate within the first two minutes of sex and that there are only a few that can go longer than 10 minutes.

This reddit poll shows 1-2 minutes is the norm for most men.

Sex that is considered short lasts between one to two minutes, adequate sex lasts three to six minutes, and desirable sex lasts seven to 12 minutes.

Both women and men want sex to last longer but men don’t seem to have the control to make that happen.

For me, it was always a problem trying to last longer than two minutes, eventually, after trying many methods I finally found something that worked for me. I took some time, but I had to train myself and learn how to control emotions and last longer.

Here are some tips and tricks that will help you do the same, so take notes.

So, let’s start off with why it’s important to last longer during sex?

Why would you want to last longer? It’s one of the most obvious answers, because sex is fun, and you want to enjoy it as much as possible, don’t you?

But is it more because of the extended fun or avoiding the insecurity?

Did you know that one of the men’s insecurities is how long they can or can’t last during sexual intercourse? For instance, men that can’t last longer than five minutes tend to feel insecure about themselves.

No man wants to go on a date just thinking about how long they will last during sex.

Another reason for lasting longer is that men want to feel like they can satisfy their partner. Sex should never be a reason that a relationship fails for a man to feel insecure about them. When you take the time to train yourself to last between 10-12 minutes, you stop worrying about how long the sex will be or if she will enjoy it.

Did you know that approximately only 20% of women regularly orgasm during intercourse? What’s going on men?

This is one of the reasons why PED inhibiting drugs Viagra & Cialis or SSRIs have always been popular among men, so much so now they are now available online through tele-medicine services like BlueChew.

Besides the drugs, there are many things a man can do to make that happen such as position, the connection between the two of you, foreplay, and much more.

It’s rare to hear of a woman having an orgasm in less than 2 minutes, so if you want to give your woman as much pleasure as you are getting from her, you need to last longer.

1). Improve your sex psychologically

Did you know that if a man feels insecure during intercourse two things can happen? Either they cum fast and easy or they can’t seem to get it up or hard.

A man needs to go into sex feeling good about himself, with confidence that he will give you pleasure.

Many men tend to feel insecure about talking to their partner about wanting to last longer. But you don’t need to worry about that, women appreciate it and they won’t think any less of you. Having this conversation can bring you guys closer.

Better, when you open up in this way with your partner, there are positive spillovers to other areas of life. It doesn’t just improve your communication and trust with your partner, it improves your confidence in yourself.

2). Kegel Techniques to last longer during sex

For all men out there that are having this problem, there are some daily exercises that can help you last longer. They are called Kegel exercises that you can do in less than 10 minutes a day.

By doing this exercise, you can strengthen your muscles that make you ejaculate.

Here’s how to do it:- But first locate that Pubococcygeus muscle-

  • Get completely naked
  • Place a finger or two between your legs behind your balls
  • Imagine as if you are trying to keep yourself from peeing and flex that muscle
  • You should feel some movement where you have your fingers. You might also feel some movement in your balls and penis.
  • Do not flex your ass, legs, or abs just focus on flexing that muscle

This muscle is called Pubococcygeus muscle or your PC muscle which controls the flow of your urine and your ejaculation. Strengthening this muscle will make you last longer and eventually stop you from reaching “the point of no return” and bring you down from near orgasm.

You must train your muscles by doing Kegel exercises daily. Find out more about Kegels.

3). Edging

Another exercise you can practice is masturbation and edging which requires 10-30 minutes a day. No matter how many times you masturbate, you can’t let yourself cum before 10 minutes.

Here’s how it’s done:

  • Start masturbating and get up to between 7-10 on arousal
  • Stop and simmer down to like a level 5 with arousal control
  • Then work yourself up to a level 8 and then stop and let yourself get to a level 6
  • Up to a 9 and down again to a 7
  • Up to a 9.5 and then down again to a 7
  • Keep repeating the 9.5 level to 7 cycles again and again for about 10 minutes. You might even notice that your orgasms are even stronger

Learn arousal control and practice with edging.

Controlling arousal levels may sound like a challenge, but by breathing deep, and maintaining a constant breathing pace, as well as keeping the mind clear (a combination of meditation) will help with preventing premature ejaculation and lasting much longer.

Keep the body relaxed and the breathe at a smooth constant pace, sexual pleasure increases. Learn more about breathing techniques.

4). How to practice Edging and Arousal Control during sex

In foreplay, women usually expect the man to begin the next stage of sex. You should be going into sex at a level 4 or 5, not at a level 8 or more.

So, here’s what you should do: Get her off once (manually using oral techniques) then let her go down on you and then you on him. Kissing and touching then get her off once more manually.

Kissing / touching -> Get her off once manually -> Fellatio -> Cunnilingus -> Sex

When you get oral and you get to the 9.5 level a few times, switch it up so you can cool down while going down on her and get her off a couple of times.

Tell her to push against your PC muscle while she’s still going down on you. This makes you last longer and feels great. Putting this strategy to practice will make you last longer.

Focus on the build up. By slowly expanding the bodies sexual stimulation, the body will become used to focusing more on the pleasure build up and less demanding for the climax, the climax of course being the orgasm.

Keep the mind and body focused on the pleasure and less about the orgasm.

5). Hormones and Endocrine health:

If you know anything about hormones, you might be knowing that they are definitely in connect with your overall health, energy and stamina. The stress hormone cortisol, motivation hormone dopamine, testosterone, human growth hormone, prolactin are all related to your energy levels and their entire dynamics is far too complex to explain in a single post. But, I’ll put a detailed post in the future explaining all their roles and how they can impact on how long do you last in bed?

Not only are these hormones related to energy and sex stamina, for example testosterone’s role in sports is well documented, they are also related to each other and there is a natural balance of these hormones in their body. If something goes off, your balance might be off and there are consequences on your sexual performance.

For now, you can take this message:-

The easiest way to get the balance of hormones right, in favor of longer lasting sexual stamina, you need herbal hormone manipulators.

These supplements contain compounds that optimize the balance of hormones in your favor if lasting longer in bed is your goal. For example, they contain Withania somnifera, Asparagus Adscendens etc, which work to reduce stress and anxiety thereby increasing serotonin in your brain, which is a crucial hormone that plays a role in ejaculation process.

That is why anti depressant drugs like Dapoxetine (that act as SSRI) were reported to increase the time to ejaculation.

Unfortunately, Dapoxetine has some side effects and is not easily available, that’s why I like its natural, herbal alternative Prosolution Plus that does the same job.

When optimizing your hormones, another thing to take care of is dopamine-serotonin balance.

Do you know what sex and world cup have in common? Or for that matter, what orgasms, good foods, watching sports and drugs have in common? If you don’t know the answer already – it’s dopamine!

Dopamine stays behind our motivation for…well…everything. This ancient old mechanism is the nature’s way to lead us towards procreation, feeding and all the activities that keep us alive and healthy – it manipulates the brain into finding the necessary survival activities pleasant, so you would keep repeating them.

Whenever you do something that you find pleasant or that your body finds pleasant, your brain releases dopamine.

Besides, having a high dopamine is good for sex as it will not only enhance your pleasure and sexual motivation but it will also help you pleasure your partner which ultimately is a goal in trying to last longer in bed.

Dopamine is also connected to amount of blood flow into the penis, erection hardness and quality, and penis size.

Clinically depressed people, when given dopamine enhancing substances(Mucuna Pruriens) see their sex lives improve not just significantly but miraculously.

But here is a catch, too much dopamine will cause anxiety thereby decreasing the positive effects of serotonin.

That’s why, you don’t just need a dopamine enhancer but a dopamine-serotonin balance modulator .

Other powerful herbal substances that are of importance are the likes of Longfolia, Curculigo orchioides , Tribulus, and Nitric oxide enhancers.

6). Using Sexual Positions for Edging

To get your partner to edge while doing foreplay is simple but during intercourse its different.

You don’t want to have to stop and start thrusting since this will get her frustrated and start making you worry about coming too fast.

You can simply edge yourself by switching positions. There are some positions that will get you aroused a whole lot faster that involves friction, the direction of the motion, control, and your position.

For instance, if she were in a position with her legs more closed while you are doing the thrusting lying down will stimulate and get you off faster.

If her legs are wide open and you are standing or kneeling the stimulation is much lower.

Another position where stimulation is much less is like this one -> if she’s on top of you moving back and forth instead of up and down.

(If you’re not sure what I mean by “back and forth” (vs “thrusting”) well… this is the only way to explain it (NSFW).)

7). Meditation:

Meditation is a very popular technique and very effective when it comes to lasting longer during sexual intercourse. Meditation itself helps keep the mind and soul relaxed and focused. Meditation promotes a more focused and controlled mind which can actually help in bed.

Meditation can not only help calm you from the inside, reduce stress but also optimize your endocrine(hormonal) health.

This helps with the man controlling himself during sex to control ejaculation. People who practice meditation can gain benefits from it not only to last longer in bed, to help them remain more focused in their daily activities such as working, being with family, in sports and competitions and to promote overall happiness.

READ the 19 step course that includes meditation to last longer in bed.

8). Self-Assurance:

Self-confidence is very important when it comes to performing in bed. If there is a lack of confidence the body will be tense and quick to ejaculate and get the job over and done with.

It is important to have full confidence while in bed, that way sexual performance will increase, boosting pleasure for both the man and the partner. Keep all past experiences outside in the trash bin and remain in the present. It will help keep the mind focused and relaxed, controlled.

You can also use NLP techniques to boost your self confidence and self-image.

9). Breathing from your diaphragm

Did you know that the way you breathe can also affect how quickly you get stimulated? You know how you can make yourself believe that you are happy when you smile, the same can be done with arousal.

If you are wanting to bring your arousal level down, slow down your breathing while making sure your breaths are deep belly breathes with your diaphragm.

It’s kind of like when you take quick breaths in your shoulders and chest which is what you do when you’re about to cum.

So, if you start doing that, your body will automatically think you’re close.

10). When you are getting close clamp

The above tips will help you stay in the 5-9 level but what if you get to that 9.9 level and you don’t know how to stop yourself from cuming?

If you have been putting to practice and strengthening your PC muscle you might be able to stop yourself.

If your PC muscle is strong enough, you can clamp hard like a long Kegel hold. The longer you squeeze the more your level will lower. With practice, you can lower your level within seconds, adding another 5 minutes to your duration to climax.

Go ahead…

A psychological switch, a couple of exercises to keep your arousal in shape and a few techniques to control how quickly your level rise and a squeeze to bring you back.

11). Serenity:

Remaining calm in the midst of intercourse may sound difficult, but it does require practice. It is important to keep the mind calm and clear. Intercourse should not have to be a job, it should be something to enjoy and keep the mind free of any stresses. A clear mind promotes better intercourse.

To become a master of serenity, you need to know more about your nervous system and The Art of Calm Erection.



Lasting longer in bed requires strong mental control and physical control as well. By applying above natural methods and training the mind through natural techniques, such as meditation, it is possible to have longer intercourse, which is more pleasurable for both the man and the partner.